It Could Happen!
A response to Grackle's "Season 5 Scene You'd Most Like To See"
C'mon, you knew *somebody* would write it.
B/K silliness. I'm not proud.
"Hmm, I don't know...why don't you tell me? What does it feel like?"
"Feels good to me. Jesus, Toby. You been dreamin' about me or something?"
"Actually, I was. I was having this crazy dream..."
"Yeah. Schillinger's oldest son turned up, and he ended up kidnapping my kids, and for some reason I was blaming you..."
"You blamed me for kidnappin' your kids?"
"Told you it was crazy. And then you were telling some other inmate that he could fuck me up the yazoo... Ow! Be careful with that, would you, Chris? Jeez!"
"What the fuck did you just say?"
"I was just telling you my dream, for chrissake...ohh, fuck....ohhh, Chris...don't fucking stop..."
"Nope, no more till you finish the story. So what happened next?"
"C'mon, I wanna hear how this played out."
"Alright. So then you went to confession and told Father Ray that you were some kind of psycho killer, only he wouldn't absolve you until you confessed to the police... Wait, Chris, it gets better! Stop laughing and let me tell you the rest! So after you dumped me, I started fucking all these other
"Awww. You were missin' me, huh?"
"Fuck my ass, Keller."
"That's the plan, Toby, soon as you tell me the rest. So get the fuck on with it."
"You murdered all the guys I was fucking."
"See what I do for you, baby? I'm a stand-up guy."
"Mmm, yeah, and you're so cute when you're jealous, too."
"I don't get fucking jealous. I was just protecting my turf, that's all. Ow!"
"Bitch. Now tell me the rest."
"So then some guy showed up in Oz, some old friend of yours who was planning to testify against you, get you sent to Death Row..."
"And you whacked him for me, right?"
"Nope, you did that all by yourself. I was the one who warned you, though."
"What a guy. You're my fucking hero, baby."
"Mmmmm.... you keep kissing me and I'm going to forget how it ended."
"Fucking tell me already."
"You confessed to a crime that I committed, and got sent to Massachusetts for life."
"I did *what?*"
"You heard me."
"Why is that so funny? Come on, Chris, it's not *that* funny..."
"Yeah, I'm a knight in fucking armor..."
"Yup. You are. C'mere, Sir Knight. Ahhhh.....damn, that's good....."
"You like that, huh?"
"So was that it?"
"Uhhhhh..... fuuuuuck..... no, there was.... a little....bit....more....Keller, don't you dare fucking stop....."
"I don't wanna distract you. Tell."
"Nope. I guess you'll just have to pry it out of me."
"Ahhhh...Christ. You got a great mouth, you know that, Toby? C'mon, I wanna know how it ends."
"Mmmm, no you don't, Chris. Believe me. Some things, you just don't ever want to hear."